The Evil Elves
by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother The story Im about to tell you began two days after I defeated the kitty cats. I was down in the Bahamas trying to finish my vacation since the kitty cats had interrupted my last one. I was sitting in a lounge chair down at the beach having sex on the beach. Get your mind out of the gutter Im referring to the drink. Yes Im aware I left out the a, as in, I was having a sex on the beach, but it sounded more interesting the way I said it and I wanted your undivided attention. Now that I have your attention I will get on with the story. I was sitting back in the lounge chair drinking my sex on the beach watching the waves lap up on the beach, when the alarm went off on my computer. I cursed under my breath, sat up, put my drink down, and grabbed the computer. I punched a code into the keyboard and the picture that popped up was of the North Pole. What I saw shocked me and my mouth dropped open. Santa`s workshop was in shambles. Some of the elves had taken over the workshop and locked Santa, Mrs. Clause, the rest of the elves, and the reindeer up. I shook my head and slapped my forehead. "Dang it, these must be the elves that the bunny rabbits brainwashed when the rabbits tried to take over the world. I forgot all about the elves." I said to the empty beach. Of course I didn`t get a reply, which was a good thing. I went through the rest of the cameras and saw the elves were not alone, they were being helped by penguins. I kept going through the cameras and I found a roomful of elves sitting around talking. I turned the volume up and began to listen. "We are not only going to take over the North Pole but we are going to bring the world to its knees. I sent a bunch of penguins to capture Father Time and The Sandman. With those two in our custody we can stop time and put everyone to sleep, permanently. After we do that no one will be able to stand in our way." One of the elves said. "What about that troublesome guy named E. T. Brother?" One of the elves ask. "I have plans to take care..." The first elf said. "Hey, be quiet, I think the room is bugged. Look at that fly on the wall, it looks like it has a microphone where the head should be." An elf said. At this point one of the elves rolled up a newspaper and hit the fly. My microphone went dead. I cursed under my breath and continued to watch the elves. I could still see them but I could no longer hear what they were saying. A second later, an elf face popped up in front of my camera filling the entire computer screen. The elf smiled and begin to mouth words. "E. T. we are going to get you. You can`t stop us." The elf mouthed then it pulled the camera loose and dropped it to the floor. The elf stepped on the camera and my computer went to static. I cursed for a few moments then I turned the computer off. I shut the laptop and got up. I began to run toward my room leaving my sex on the beach behind. I stopped running, turned around, and ran back to the chair. I picked up the sex on the beach, finished it, and put the glass down. It was to good to waste. I turned and ran to my room. I packed everything in my suitcase, grabbed the suitcase, and ran to my rental car. When I got to the car, I opened the door, threw my suitcase in, and got in the car. I put my laptop in the passenger seat, started the car, shut the door, and drove to the other side of the island. When I got to the other side of the island, I chartered a plane and flew back to Virginia. When I got to Virginia, I drove to my hidden bunker. I knew I was going to have to go to the North Pole to stop the elves and penguins. The elves had discovered all the cameras and microphones so I didn`t know much about their plans, I had to prepare for anything. I gathered up everything I thought I would need and packed it into the flying machine. I got my cold weather gear and put it in the front so it would be in easy reach. When I was ready, I climbed into the flying machine, shut the hatch, and strapped in. I turned the flying machine on then I turned the robot on. I punched a code into the console and the roof of the bunker begin to slide open. After the roof opened fully, the robot pulled back on the yoke and the flying machine begin to rise up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker, the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole. As we got close to the North Pole alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I began to punch codes into the console and numerous blips popped up on the screen. I looked around and saw hundreds of sleighs lifting off and coming after us. The sleighs were being flown by elves and pulled by reindeer. The elves had a look of gleeful insanity on their faces. The reindeer looked like they were possessed, their eyes glowed red, smoke and flames poured from their nostrils as they pulled the sleighs. The sleighs had rocket launchers attached to to their sides. I had not had time to install anything on the flying machine to stop or fool the rockets. I knew I was in trouble but I didn`t know how much trouble I was in, I would find that out soon enough though. The elves fired their rockets, the robot began to fly in a zig zag pattern and it pushed the yoke down. The flying machine dove down toward the ground. One of the missiles exploded behind the flying machine and the debris struck the back of the flying machine. Some of the debris flew up into the engines. The engines shredded and ripped themselves apart. Flames and smoke began to pour out of the engines and the flying machine was no longer flying. The flying machine was still about a thousand feet off the ground, it plummeted to the ground and it crash landed. I was knocked unconscious in the crash. I came to later, I don`t know how much later but it couldn`t have been much later. I looked around and saw the flying machine was on fire. I was in immense pain. I unbuckled, climbed out of the seat, and crawled toward the back. I knew I had to get out of the flying machine but I also knew I had to get my cold weather gear because I wouldn`t survive long in the frigid conditions. I got to the cold weather gear, began to pull it out, and passed out from the pain. I came to sometime later and realized I was no longer in the flying machine. I was outside the flying machine lying on my back. It was snowing and the snow was landing on my face. I raised my right hand and wiped the snow off my face. I forced my head up and looked around. The flying machine was a little ways away and it was no longer burning. A big figure was climbing out of the flying machine. I laid my head down and passed out. I came to sometime later and felt myself bouncing. I opened my eyes and looked around. I realized I was being carried on someones shoulder so that was why I was bouncing around. I was in intense pain, it was shooting all through me. I closed my eyes and passed out. I came to later, opened my eyes, and looked around. I was in a cave. I realized I was lying on my back on something soft. I began to sit up. "You shouldn`t get up. You are hurt and pretty weak." A voice said. I looked around the cave and saw a shadow coming out of the shadows. I began to get lightheaded, fell back, closed my eyes, and passed out. I came to a little later to someone lightly slapping my face. I opened my eyes, looked at the figure slapping me, and screamed. That can`t be real. I must be imagining it. The abominable snowman doesn`t exist, it is a myth, I must be hallucinating. I thought. I passed out from the pain and probable from the fright as well. Later I came to and looked around. "You need to eat if you want to get your strength back." A voice said. I looked around the cave and saw a figure standing in the shadows. I began to sit up. "That isn`t a good idea. You are too weak to get up. You need to eat so you can get your strength back." The voice said. "Who are you?" I ask. "It doesn`t matter who I am. Eat the soup, it is in the bowl on the table next to the bed." The voice said. I thought about ignoring the figure in the shadows, whoever he was, and just getting up anyway but my stomach began to growl. I picked up the bowl and ate most of the soup. I was sitting up and leaning on my elbows. I began to get shaky. I fell back on the pillow and passed out. I came to later and was feeling much better. I sat up and threw the covers off. I stood up and got very lightheaded. I grabbed the bed and held on until the feeling passed. I heard a noise in the cave, jerked my head around, and looked around the cave. Moving my head fast caused me to get lightheaded so I closed my eyes for a moment. I heard the noise again and opened my eyes. A figure walked out of the shadows toward me and I screamed. I closed my eyes for a moment then opened them again. The figure was still coming toward me. The figure looked manlike but it was covered from head to toe in fur and it was very tall, nine feet tall at least. I shook my head trying to clear it then I looked and the figure was still there. "You aren`t real, you don`t exist." I said. The abominable snowman threw its head back and laughed. After a moment he looked back at me. "Im real alright, Im as real as you." The abominable snowman said. I let go of the bed, took a step, and got very lightheaded. I grabbed for the bed and leaned against it. The abominable snowman walked over to me, picked me up, I screamed, he put me back in the bed, and covered me up. "You aren`t strong enough to get out of bed yet. You need to rest and get your strength back." The abominable snowman said. "I have to stop the elves and penguins." I said. "You couldn`t stop a flee in the condition you`re in. You suffered a bad head injury in the crash. You`re lucky to be alive. There is nothing you can do to stop the elves and penguins anyway. They stopped time and put everyone to sleep, maybe a permanent sleep. You are fortunate to be here or they would have put you to sleep as well." The snowman said. I began to sit up and the snowman put his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back. "I have to do something, I can`t just stay here." I said. "You can and will stay here for now so you can build your strength back up. When you able to leave I will help you any way I can." The snowman said. "I have to do something, the fate of the world is depending on me." I said. "You are doing something, you`re building your strength up, for now that`s enough. Now take a nap, when you wake up I will fix you some soup." The snowman said. I laid back and fell asleep. When I came to later, the snowman was standing beside my bed holding a bowl of soup. I had to choke back a scream then I remembered where I was. "Eat this it will help you build up your strength, maybe in a few weeks you will be strong enough to defeat the elves and penguins." The abominable snowman said. "That isn`t fast enough, I have to do something sooner." I said. "It will have to be soon enough, you can`t do anything sooner. You wouldn`t make it ten steps now without falling down and passing out. You are no help to anyone right now, you have to get your strength back and that is going to take time." The snowman said. I sat up and the snowman handed me the bowl of soup. "Eat the soup and stop arguing with me. You can`t make it anywhere on your own and I will not allow you to leave. It is for your own good." The snowman said. I knew the snowman was right but I couldn`t stand just doing nothing. I began to eat and the snowman sat down in the chair next to the bed. "What is your name human?" The snowman ask. "My name is E. T. Brother. What is your name, or do you have one?" I said. "Yes I have a name. My name is Ted, Im a Yeti, now we have finally been introduced. I think it will take you a few weeks to get your strength back, as long as you continue to improve as you have been doing and you don`t do anything foolish." Ted said. "That isn`t fast enough. The elves and penguins have free reign and they may destroy the world. They have already thrown the world into chaos." I said. "It will have to be fast enough because you`re in no condition to go anywhere right now. I will tie you down if I have to but you aren`t leaving. Im doing this for your own good, you wouldn`t do anyone any good leaving now. One elf could defeat you right now, with one of his or her arms tied behind their back. There would only be two hits, they would hit you and you would hit the floor. It would be lights out for you E. T. and you know it so stop arguing with me. Get some rest, tomorrow you can try to walk around the cave some." Ted said. I put the bowl on the table and laid back down. I began to drift off toward sleep. As I drifted toward sleep I thought, if only I could go back in time I could stop the elves and penguins before they ever got started with their plans. Sometime later I snapped awake and sat bolt upright. I got lightheaded and had to lean over on the bed until the feeling passed. After the feeling passed I sat slowly up. "I can go back in time. The turkey time repeating machine has a setting for you to travel back in time. I have their machine in my bunker. I can go back in time and defeat the elves and penguins before they ever get started. I can stop them before they ever get their plans off the ground." I said out loud. "You have a time machine?" Ted ask from the shadows. "Yes the turkeys trapped me in a time repeating machine for awhile but I escaped. After we defeated the turkeys I examined the machine and found it was also a time traveling machine. You can set the time to whatever time you want and travel back in time. I have that machine back in my bunker. Before I fell asleep I was thinking I could stop the elves and penguins before they even got started if I could travel back in time. I can travel back in time and I am going to do it. I will stop the elves and penguins before they get their plans off the ground." I said. "That`s fine, now go back to sleep." Ted said. "Don`t you see the possibilities?" I ask. "Yes I see the possibilities, now travel back in time to five minutes ago and do what you were doing then. You need your rest before you can do any time traveling." Ted said. I laid back down and went back to sleep. Over the next few weeks I built my strength up. Each day I walked further until I was finally ready to leave the cave. I wasn`t a hundred percent but I was doing much better. The day I was ready to leave was a bitter sweet one, Ted and myself had become close friends while he was nursing me back to health. Ted took me outside and showed me the tracked snow vehicle he had gotten me. I looked in and saw Ted had packed me supplies into the vehicle. I turned around and faced Ted. "Thank you for all you`ve done Ted, I don`t know how to repay you." I said. "Defeat the elves and penguins, set thing right, that will be payment enough." Ted said. We shook hands and I climbed into the vehicle. I have never been any good at goodbyes, I never know what to say. I shut the door, started the vehicle, and waved at Ted. Ted waved back and I began my trip. I traveled back to civilization but civilization as I had known it no longer existed. Everything was in shambles, there was no one around. I drove the tracked vehicle until it was no longer practical to use. I found a parking lot full of cars and pulled in. I searched around and found the keys in a Hummer. I swapped all my supplies into the Hummer and I got in. I shut the door, started it, and began to make my way toward the bunker. When I made it back to the bunker in Virginia, I walked in and walked over to the time repeating machine. I flipped the switch to time travel, turned the machine on, and set the time back to the day I had defeated the kitty cats. I set the time to when I had made it back to my bunker that day then I stepped into the machine. The door shut, the machine begin to hum, there was a blinding white light and I traveled back in time. The machine shut down and the door opened. I stepped out of the machine and walked over to my workstation. I punched a code into the computer and I saw that I had in fact traveled back in time to the day I had defeated the kitty cats. I smiled for a moment then I began to make preparations to defeat the elves and penguins. I was going to stop the elves and penguins before they even got started with their evil plans. The next day I was finally ready for the evil elves and their accomplishes. I punched codes into the console and the machines that had captured the kitty cats took off and began to fly toward the North Pole. I made a few last minute preparations and then I ran over to the flying machine. I climbed in, shut the hatch, strapped in, and turned the flying machine on. I turned the robot on and punched codes into the console. The roof of the bunker began to slide open. I looked around the cockpit to make sure I had everything I needed. I had loaded the flying machine earlier and I was just making sure I had not forgotten anything. I saw that I had everything. I flipped a few switches and made sure all the countermeasures that I had installed on the flying machine worked. I saw they were working fine. I didn`t want to get shot down again. I was ready for the evil elves if they tried to shoot me out of the sky again. The roof finished opening up and the robot pulled back on the control yoke. The flying machine rose up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole. I had traveled back in time and now I was traveling back to the North Pole to defeat the evil elves and the penguins once and for all. I punched in a code on the console and the flying machine disappeared as the cloaking device engaged. The robot flew us to the North Pole and we didn`t have any problems this time. When we got to the North Pole, the robot landed near Santa`s workshop. I checked the computer and saw all the search and capture machine were in place. I punched in a code on the console and the cameras and microphones came on in Santa`s workshop. The pictures popped up on my computer and I sat back and waited for the elves and penguins to make their move, I was ready for them. When the elves and penguins made their move, I launched the search and capture machines and they rounded up the penguins in short order. It was pretty funny watching the penguins as they tried to escape. They were flapping their wings as they tried to escape but since they can`t fly they weren`t going anywhere. After the penguins were captured, I sprung my secret plan on the elves. I turned on the mind control reverse machines and the machines unscrambled the elves brains. The machine began to broadcast what the evil elves and penguins had been up to. The elves stopped in their tracks as their brains returned to normal and they were easily captured. The elves and penguins plans fell apart and they were all captured in quick order. When it was finally over, I went and visited Santa. I told Santa all that had happened, he sat there listening intently. I expected Santa to laugh at me again, when I was through telling him the story, but he didn`t. Santa sat there for a moment then he got up and walked around his desk. He held his hand out and we shook hands. "Thank you E. T. I have seen all that has happened recently with the turkeys, the rabbits, the cats, and now the elves and penguins so I don`t doubt you anymore. Thank you for all you have done E. T. Brother, the world owes you a debt of gratitude for stopping these plots. Im sorry I ever doubted you, can you forgive me?" Santa said. I could and did forgive Santa and I convinced him to go easy on the elves because they had been brainwashed. Santa assured me that he would go easy on the elves. He was going to make sure they were back to normal and then the elves were going to be put back in their old jobs. Santa told me the penguins, on the other hand, would be dealt with harshly because they knew what they were doing. The leaders were going to be put to death and the followers were going to be retrained. When the penguins were retained they would be released. I left the North Pole and made my way back home. I was still extremely weak from the crash so I hoped everything would remain quiet for a long time. When I got home I began to rest up trying to recover form everything. I was worn out so I settled down for what I hoped would be a long, long rest. The End The Kitty Cats Cometh
by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother The story Im about to tell you began about a week after the evil bunny rabbits had been defeated. I was on a much needed vacation, the weather had turned cold in Virginia so I was down in the Bahamas. I was on the beach sipping a Pina Colada, the real kind not the virgin kind, trying to recharge my batteries. The preparation and battles with the turkeys and bunnies had left me drained. I was sitting in a lounge chair watching the water lap up on the beach when the alarm on my computer went off. I put my drink and grabbed my computer, which was right beside me on a table. I began punching codes into the keyboard. What came up on the screen sent cold chills through me, gave me goose bumps, and made the hair on my arms and the back of my next stand up. I covered my mouth to stifle a scream then realized it was just my screen saver, it was a picture of me. I moved the mouse and the picture went away. I punched in codes on the keyboard and the picture that came up wasn`t near as scary, it was a roomful of cute, cuddly kitty cats. I turned the volume up and what I heard got my heart racing. "The reason the turkeys and bunny rabbits failed was because of that fellow named E. T. Brother. We take him out and we can take over the world without a problem. He is down in the Bahamas right now, sitting out at the beach drinking Pina Coladas. I have sent ten assassin kitty cats to take care of E. T. once and for all. The assassin cats look cute and cuddly so they will be able to get in close. The assassins are cold blooded killers. They will take him out of the equation shortly." The kitty cat in front of the room said. The cat looked down at his watch. "The assassins should be beginning their attack in two minutes. Jack turn the monitor on so we can watch." The cat said. I shut the laptop, picked it up, and jumped to my feet. I began to run up the beach toward where my car was. I knew there was no time to go to my room for anything. A kitty cat jumped out of hiding as I got close to the parking lot. The kitty cat raised a small handgun and it had a smirk on its furry face. "Where do you think you are going E. T.? This is the end of the line for you." The Kitty said. I kicked the kitty cat, the gun went off, the bullet flew by my ear, I felt the air from the bullet as it went by. I kicked the kitty cat again, it went flying backwards with a hiss, and landed on its back. The gun flew from its furry paw. I began to run toward the car. I looked up and saw a kitty cat jumping off a tree branch toward me with its claws out. I swung my laptop at it, hit the kitty cat, and it fell to the ground. The cat let out a loud meow of surprise as it hit the ground. It did not land on its feet, it landed on its back with a thud. I began to run toward the parking lot again and tripped over a hidden wire. I put my hands out, dropped my laptop, and landed on my hands and knees. A kitty cat came out of the bushes, it was holding a small handgun. "It`s over E. T., you ought to stop running because we are going to get you." The kitty cat said. I let the kitty cat get close then I backhanded it. The kitty cat went flying backwards, it hissed then landed in a heap. The gun went flying out of its paw and landed in the bushes. The handgun went off and the bullet hit a branch in a tree to my right. The branch cracked and broke. I heard a surprised meow and I looked up. The branch and a kitty cat fell from the tree. The kitty cat landed in a heap and let out a screaming meow of pain. I looked over at my laptop and saw it was broken. I jumped to my feet and began to run toward the parking lot. I heard a yelling meow behind me and I looked over my shoulder. The remaining six kitty cats were running after me. They were all carrying small handguns. I looked around and saw a big branch lying next to the path. I grabbed it, turned around, and swung it at the kitty cats. I hit the kitty cats and bowled them over like bowling pins. They all hissed and fired at me. The bullets flew passed my head on the right and left sounding like angry hornets but they all missed me. The cats landed in a heap on top of one another and their guns went flying out of their paws. The guns landed about ten feet away with a thud. I turned around, threw the branch down, and ran to the car. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door. I got in, looked around, and didn`t see any kitty cats around. I shut the door and put the key in the ignition. I turned the key on and the tape player turned on. "If you are listening to this then it means you will be dead in seconds. Prepare to meet your maker E. T. Brother. Goodbye." I heard. I opened the door, jumped out, and began to run. The car exploded behind me. The explosion lifted me off my feet and threw me forward. Flaming debris flew past me as I flew through the air. I landed on the ground in a ditch and put my hands over my head. If I could have bent over and kissed myself where the air quality is questionable, I would have. Flaming debris landed all around me. One piece of flaming debris landed on my back. I felt the heat from the flames and my shirt started to burn. I rolled over onto my back then I rolled over a few times to put the fire out. When the debris stopped falling, I sat up, and looked around. The ten kitty cats were standing at the edge of the parking lot looking at the remains of my car. They were all smiling and giving each other high fives. I realized they had not seen me escape. I smiled and began to crawl away. I got to the top of a gully and began to crawl down into it. When I was sure I was out of sight of the parking lot, I stood up and walked away. I knew the kitty cats were planning on taking over the world, I didn`t know how they were going to do it but I knew they were serious. I had to get somewhere safe so I could prepare for them. I knew it would do no good to go to the proper authorities because they would threaten to put me in the loony bin, and I would just be wasting my time as well. I made it to the other side of the island and chartered a plane. I had to get back to Virginia so I could get to my underground bunker. We flew out of the Bahamas and I made my way back to Virginia. Once I made it back to Virginia, I drove to the bunker. I walked in and shut the bomb doors. I walked over to my work station and turned all the monitors on. I brought up the cameras in the kitty cats hideout and began to watch. "Now that E. T. Brother has been taken care of, we can get on with our plans to take over the world. It is time for the cats to rule. The humans have had dominion over us long enough but that will soon come to an end. The cats are the rightful rulers of the world and when we implement our plans we will be the rulers of the world. The turkeys and rabbits had it right on how to accomplish it, they had mind controlling devices but they failed because of E. T. Brother. We have eliminated that threat so we will not have any problems. Make final preparations, I want to take over the world in three days. We wont have a problem since E. T. Brother has been removed from the equation. Let me know when final preparations are complete." The kitty cats leader said. I turned the sound off and began to make plans to stop the kitty cats. I knew they would be striking in three days so I didn`t have a moment to waste. The first thing I did was go take a nap. I was tired and I was technically still on my vacation for another hour. After I woke up from the nap, I began to get ready for the kitty cats. I observed them for the rest of the day, as I was making my plans, and I found out they were going to use mind control as well. I made plans and built machines getting ready for the kitty cats plans to take over the world. The day the kitty cats planned to take over the world arrived and I was not quite ready for the cats. I was wearing my contraption on my head to block the kitty cats mind control machines, when the alarms began to go off. I rushed over to the computer and punched codes into the keyboard. I discovered the kitty cats had turned on their mind control machines and they were beginning to move from their hideouts. I cursed silently because I was not quite ready for them, I needed about another hour. Yes I know I would have been able to get it done if I had not taken that nap but it was my vacation. I know the fate of the world was depending on me to stop the kitty cats but hello, it was my vacation, don`t tell me you wouldn`t have done the same thing. I rushed over to the mind control disruption machine. I began to work furiously on it and was able to rig it up in about 15 minutes, so it would work. I flipped the switch to turn it on and everything in the bunker shut down. The emergency lights came on. I began to curse out loud, using some very colorful words to say the least and making some words up on the spot. A sailor wouldn`t have blushed but Im sure most everyone else might have. I flipped the switch off on the machine, went to the breaker box, opened it, and found I had knocked off a breaker. I reset the breaker and everything came back on in the bunker. I walked back to the disruption machine, checked it, and found it had a blown fuse. I grabbed my last fuse and put it into the machine. I flipped the switch and everything turned off in the bunker. The emergency lights came on. I began to curse in earnest now because I had used the last fuse so I was going to have to go out and buy a pack. I flipped the switch off, went to the breaker box, and reset the breaker. I walked back to the machine, checked it, and found that I had crossed two of the wires. I fixed the wires then I made my way out of the bunker. I should have taken the time to fix the disruption machine right the first time but I was trying to stop the kitty cats evil plans. Don`t tell me I could have done it right the first time if I hadn`t taken that nap, we have already discussed this, I was on vacation. I got to my car, got in, and drove to town. I saw some very disturbing things as I drove, the worst was a naked fat guy walking down the road, that image will give me nightmares for years to come Im sure. I saw mindless zombies stumbling all about, one walked in front of me, and I had to slam on the brakes. I blew the horn but the mindless zombie never even looked my way. I made my way to the store, got out of the car, and walked in. The store was deserted. I went back to where the fuse were, grabbed two packs of fuses, and walked to the counter. I pulled out five dollars and put it on the counter. I could have walked out without paying but I felt that would have defeated the purpose, me trying to save the world and all that then stealing two packs of fuses, it just wouldn`t have been right. I rushed out to my car, got in, and drove back to the bunker. Fortunately I didn`t see that naked fat guy again, I shiver thinking about that, I believe it has scarred me for life. I can deal with evil kitty cats but I draw the line at having to look at that again. I got back to the bunker and went in. I shut the door and rushed over to the disruption machine, opened up a pack of fuses, and put a new fuse in. I flipped the switch, the mind control disruption machine came on, and it began to block the kitty cats mind control machines. My machine then began to broadcast to the world what the kitty cats had done. I ran over to the work station and began to punch in codes. Kitty cat search and capture machines began to lift off around the world and they began to capture the kitty cats. One of the kitty cat search and capture machines flew to the kitty cats leaders hideout and captured all the leaders of the cat revolt. Within a few hours the majority of the kitty cats had been captured. The rest of the kitty cats were captured by the end of the day. The rightful leaders took back over and earth was saved. Mankind resumed living their normal lives. Fortunately the fat guy put some clothes on and that was a big relief, it was scary enough seeing him with clothes on. Im sure I will have nightmare about that fat guy. Earth was saved so I went back to the Bahamas. The End The Rabbits Diabolical Plans
by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother The night of terror began on Christmas Eve just before Santa began his famous ride to deliver presents to all for Christmas Day. The night of terror happened the same year as the turkey revolt. The turkeys had been watched with great interest to see if they would succeed in their plot to take over the world. The turkeys had failed but lessons were learned by those who watched. New plans were made to succeed where the turkeys had failed and they were set into motion on Christmas Eve. Citizens of the world were not aware but they would soon find out the fight for survival was about to begin. A new enemy was rising from the shadows, an unlikely enemy, one that few if any would ever suspect. The new enemy rising from the shadows were blood thirsty savages, they were ruthless, but they hid it well, so very well. They hid well behind their innocent looking, even cute mask, but underneath that cute exterior they were blood thirsty beast. These beast were ready to take over the world, they were tired of being treated like third class citizens, they were ready to rule the world. This is the story of a night of terror on Christmas Eve when the bunny rabbits of the world united to take over the world. It began the day after the turkey revolt was put down. I stumbled across the bunny rabbits plans to take over the world quite by accident. I went to the holding cell of the turkey leaders and overheard a couple of bunnies talking. I had been told the bunny rabbits in the cells were part of the notorious bunny rabbit biker gang called The Ruff and Tuff Gang. They had been arrested for starting a fight at a local restaurant. The fight started after someone said they looked so cute trying to look tough in all that biker clothing. Everyone in the restaurant laughed except for the biker bunnies. The Ruff and Tuff Gang each grabbed chairs and began to break them over the patrons heads. After they broke all the chairs, they began to introduce the patrons to their paws. They beat up quite a few people very severely. The police were called and told there was a riot going on. It took over 20 officers to get the Ruff and Tuff Gang into custody. I understand they caused thirty thousand dollars worth of damage and three individuals had to be hospitalized for a few days. I walked into the holding cells and overheard the bunnies talking. I slipped into the shadows and listened. They were discussing a plot to take over the world. At first I thought they were full of it but I continued to listen. I soon found out they were serious and what I heard shocked and horrified me. This is what I overheard. "The turkeys plans were pretty good but they made too many mistakes. We have a lot of good leaders that watched the turkey revolt and learned from the mistakes the turkeys made. The plan our leaders have come up with to take over the world is brilliant. We are going to use the fat jolly man as an unwitting accomplish. They are going to have Santa deliver something with the presents...." At this point someone came into the holding area. The bunnies stopped talking and they said no more. I waited in the shadows but the bunnies didn`t give up anymore info. After awhile I gave up. Two days later the bunnies were released. I followed them back to their hideout. It wasn`t difficult following the bunnies back to their hideout. They were all on their motorcycles and their motorcycles sounded like thunder rolling down the road. I just followed the noise but I could have been riding right behind them because they never looked back. The bunnies were playing follow the leader. I got to their hideout and hid in the shadows. I waited until that night and waited until all the lights went out in the hideout. I waited for about another hour then I slipped into their hideout. I set up surveillance cameras and listening devices all over the hideout. I thought I had been discovered, when one of the bunnies sat bolt upright in its bed. The bunny jumped out of bed and I ducked behind a counter sure the bunny knew I was in the hideout. The bunny rushed past my hiding spot and went to the bathroom. The door shut and I let out a sigh of relief. I slipped out the backdoor and made my way back to my van. Over the next few days I discovered the bunnies plans to take over the world. The plans were actually pretty good. The bunnies had brainwashed a number of Santa`s elves and the elves were planting a device in all of the presents. The devices were very small so they would be undetectable but they were very powerful. The devices, when turned on, would make the citizens of the world mindless zombies then it would reprogram the brain into believing that the bunny rabbits were the rightful rulers of the world. Once I had discovered the bunnies diabolical plot, I gathered all my evidence and took it to the proper authorities. They listened with interest but when I finished telling them about the plot they began to laugh hysterically. When they were able to get themselves under control again, they told me to make like an egg and beat it or they were going to call in the people in the white suits. They told me the guys in the white suits could give me a jacket that I could hug myself in and they could put me in a nice padded room, for my protection off course so them evil bunny rabbits couldn`t get me. I gathered my evidence up and left. I was not amused with the proper authorities trying to insinuate that I was crazy but I was not perturbed. I decided to go see Santa Claus to let him know what was going on. Santa listened to everything I had to say and then he began to laugh. His belly began to shake like a bowl full of jelly. After awhile Santa got himself under control. "I must say E. T. Brother that is quite an interesting story and it was very entertaining. I hope you understand that Im not saying you are crazy or anything but I don`t believe a word of it. It was very entertaining , you have quite an imagination but you will have to excuse me now because Im quite busy. I have to check the naughty and nice list, which by the way if I remember correctly, you are on the naughty list E. T. You going skinny dipping in the lake during a nun convention and asking the nuns if they would care to join you, that was very naughty." Santa said. That wasn`t my fault Santa. The Blind Man said it would be a good idea and it did sound good at the time." I said. "Yes Im sure it did. You should choose your imaginary friends more carefully. Now if you will excuse me Im very busy. Im going to have Bubba show you to the door, please leave." Santa said. I turned and looked behind me. The biggest, meanest looking guy I have ever seen was standing there. "Come with me and don`t cause any trouble or I will have to get physical with you." The man said. I got up and went with Bubba. I didn`t cause any problems because it looked like Bubba would have enjoyed getting physical with me. He would have enjoyed it quite a bit but I wouldn`t have. I have a fear of violence because I don`t like pain. I left the north pole and traveled to an underground bunker to begin preparing for the bunny rabbits. I knew it was up to me to stop the bunny rabbits plans since I had failed to convince the proper authorities and Santa Claus of the bunny rabbits evil plans. The worlds fate rested in my hands, I knew if I failed the bunny rabbits would take over the world. I worked furiously right up until Christmas Eve, making plans, building machines, and getting prepared for the bunny rabbits. Christmas Eve came and I was in my bunker making final preparations when the alarms started going off. I checked the monitors and saw bunny rabbits hopping toward the bunker. There must have been millions of bunnies hopping toward the bunker because the ground turned white and it was not snowing. There were bunny rabbits in all directions for as far as I could see with the cameras. I began to punch in codes on the keyboard but nothing happened. I began to mutter curses under my breath thinking the bunnies had done something to my computer then I realized I had not turned the computer on. I began to curse again out loud this time and I turned the computer on. I punched in a bunch of codes on the keyboard and flipped on a number of switches. I jumped to my feet and ran to my flying machine. I climbed in, strapped in, and closed the hatch. I had still not had time to take flying lessons but I had built a robot to fly the machine for me. I began to flip switches and the engines roared to life. The roof of the bunker began to slide open. There was a loud explosion over at the bunker door. The door buckled in but it held. The robot grabbed the control yoke and jerked it back. The flying machine lurched backwards and bounced off the wall. The flying machine then lurched to the right, bounced off the wall and sent sparks flying into the air. The flying machine began to bounce off the walls from side to side, forwards and backwards, and it began to feel like we were inside a pinball machine bouncing off the walls as we were. I began to cuss profusely as I realized I had not sent the program to the robot on how to fly the blasted flying machine. I began to punch codes into the console. The flying machine stopped bouncing off the walls and began to rise out of the bunker as the robot received the program on how to fly the flying machine. The flying machine took off once it cleared the bunker. When we got away from the bunker, I punched a code into the console, the bunker and the surrounding area exploded. I glanced back and saw the fireball from the explosion. I looked back to the front and began to punch codes into the console. A number of blips showed up on the computer screen and alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I looked back and saw thousands of flying machines lifting off the ground behind us. I looked back to the front. "Land now human or we will be forced to blow you out of the sky." A voice said on the radio frequency. I ignored the voice and began to punch codes into the console. A moment later more alarms began to go off and hundreds of new blips popped up on the computer screen. I looked back and saw hundreds of missiles streaking toward us. I looked back to the front and flipped several switches. I looked back behind us and saw the missiles turn around. The missiles flew back to the bunny rabbits flying machines. The missiles struck the flying machines that had launched them and exploded. Hundreds of flying machines exploded and flaming debris rained down out of the sky. Our flying machine shook for a moment then it smoothed out. I saw yellow things streaking past the flying machine on both sides and I realized we were being shot at. I punched in a code on the console and a force field popped up around the flying machine. I heard popping sounds coming from behind us and I looked back. Bullets were striking the force field and bouncing off. I turned back to the front and punched a code into the console. The flying machine banked to the left and made a u-turn. We went flying toward the bunnies flying machines. The bunnies began to pull to the left or right trying to get out of the way. Some of them collided with one another and their flying machines fell from the sky. Flaming debris rained from the sky for several moments. The bunny rabbits were no good at playing chicken and they lost over 200 flying machines. I hit the afterburners and we began to fly away from the bunnies. I looked back and saw the remaining bunnies flying machines make u-turns and hit the afterburners coming in pursuit of me. I looked back to the front as alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I looked at the computer screen and saw hundred of new blips. I looked back and saw hundreds of missiles streaking across the sky toward us. I looked back to the front. I flipped the switches off then flipped them back on. I looked back behind us and to my shock and horror I saw the missiles were still flying toward us. I turned back to the front and flipped a few more switches. The flying machine shuddered and I looked back. Two missiles flew away from my flying machine and flew toward the missiles. The two missiles split into hundreds of tiny missiles. The tiny missiles blew the hundreds of missiles out of the sky. The shock wave from the explosion rocked the flying machine for a moment and then the flying machine leveled out and began to fly smoothly. I looked back and saw hundreds of the bunnies flying machines going down in flames. I turned back to the front and looked at the computer screen. I saw the bunnies flying machines had been thinned down to about 25. I breathed a sigh of relief then flipped another switch. My flying machine began to vanish. I knew it was dangerous using the clocking device because the shields would no longer work but I thought it would be okay. Little did I realize that this would be a costly mistakes on my part, almost a fatal mistake. The remaining bunnies all fired two missiles each. I had nothing else to use so I took over the controls from the robot and dove down almost to the treetops. I looked at the computer screen and saw that three of the missiles had followed me down. Two of the missiles flew past to the right, hit the side of a mountain and exploded. The final missile exploded right behind my flying machine. Some of the shrapnel flew into the engines and destroyed them. The flying machine lost all power and I braced for impact. We were in the middle of a forest, the flying machine began to bounce off the treetops and skip back into the air. The flying machine was skipping across the treetops like a flat rock will skip across water if thrown right. Each time the flying machine skipped off the treetops it slowed down a little. The flying machine finally crashed down into the trees and begin to slide. Trees ripped off both sides of the flying machine but the flying machine didn`t hit any trees headon. The flying machine finally slide to a halt about 90 feet after it crashed to the ground. Two of the bunnies flying machines flew over and I knew I had to get out of the flying machine. I unstrapped myself then unstrapped the robot. I checked the robot and saw it was okay. I popped the hatch on the flying machine and climbed out. The robot climbed out behind me. I turned to grab my bag out of the flying machine and I heard a flying machine coming. I looked up just as the flying machine launched a missile. I screamed and turned to run. "Come on robot, lets go." I hollered. The robot and myself began to run away from the flying machine. The missile exploded a moment later, the shock wave knocked the robot and myself down. After the debris stopped flying, I sat up and looked around. A fire was burning fiercely at the flying machine and most of the trees had been knocked flat in the area. I looked over and saw the robot sit up. I checked myself and discovered that I was only banged up a little but I didn`t have any broken bones. I checked the robot and saw it was fine. I sat there looking at the flying machine and realized I had lost. Mankind was doomed because it was Christmas Eve and Santa was now on his ride to deliver presents. He was delivering presents with the devices on them and I now had no way of stopping him. The bunny rabbits were going to take over the world and there was nothing I could do to stop it because my computer had been destroyed in the flying machine. I sat there for quite some time then I looked over at the robot. I smacked my forehead. Duh, the robot has a computer built into its back. I thought. I jumped up and ran around behind the robot. I opened a panel and a keyboard flipped down. I began to punch codes into the keyboard. I looked at the computer screen and saw the backup flying machine take off. The flying machine began to fly toward my location. I may have a chance to save mankind but Im going to have to hurry. I thought. The robot and myself began to walk toward a road that was about a mile away. When we got to the road the flying machine was just landing. We ran to the flying machine and climbed in. I strapped in and shut the hatch. The robot got the flying machine into the air and we began to fly to intercept Santa. After we had been flying for about 20 minutes alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I looked at the computer screen and saw hundreds of blips on the computer screen. I looked back and saw hundreds of bunny rabbit flying machines chasing us. I looked back to the front and hit the afterburners. I looked back and saw the bunnies also hit the afterburners. They were still hot on our tail. I began to punch codes into the console. I sent out an electromagnetic pulse and looked back at the bunnies flying machines. Their engines shut off and the bunnies flying machines began to crash land. I had not had time to install the EMP onto the other flying machine or I could have avoided all the problems in the other flying machine. We would not have been shot down. I turned back to the front and we continued our flight to intercept Santa. I began to punch in codes on the console. A new blip appeared on the computer screen and I saw that Santa had already delivered about a quarter of his presents. I cursed under my breath about being shot down. I lost a lot of time or I could have intercepted Santa before he began and disabled the devices. I didn`t need to stop Santa, I just had to intercept him. I have a device in the flying machine that will mess up the bunnies devices. All the sudden the engines on the flying machine shut off and the flying machine began to drop like a rock. I braced for impact. When the flying machine crashed it knocked me unconscious. When I woke up the sun was coming up. I looked around, saw where I was, and began to remember everything. It was Christmas morning, Santa had delivered all the presents, the bunny rabbits had won. I punched a code into the console and the news came up on the computer screen. I was not surprised to see the news anchor was a bunny rabbit. "The top story today, Adam Rabbit, the supreme leader of the world will be addressing the world shortly, so stay tuned." The rabbit said. I turned the news off and shook my head no. I failed, the bunny rabbits have taken over the world just as they planned. I thought. I sat there for a little while contemplating what I should do. I kept coming up blank but then the way to defeat the rabbits came to me. I unbuckled and checked the robot. The robot was damaged beyond repair. I opened the hatch and climbed out of the flying machine. I began to walk toward my backup bunker. About an hour later, I came across a car. I hot wired it and drove to the bunker. I parked about a mile away and walked the rest of the way. I got to the bunker around noon on Christmas Day. I walked into the bunker, looked around, then I walked over and sat down at the workstation. I sat there feeling sorry for myself for quite awhile. I thought back to telling the proper authorities and Santa about the bunnies. They all laughed at me and told me I was crazy. They weren`t laughing now because they were being ruled by bunny rabbits now. After awhile I finally got up and got to work. The battle to save mankind was going to begin shortly and I was going to be the one waging it. I worked on my plans and made preparations to defeat the bunny rabbits over the next few weeks. I was finally ready to battle the bunnies on January the tenth. I began by sending up devices to defeat the bunnies brain washing devices and reprogram mankinds brain back to normal.The bunnies sent up devices to destroy my devices. I was prepared for this and I sent drone search and destroy machines up. The bunnies drones were destroyed. After the bunnies devices were defeated, my devices began to broadcast the news to mankind about what the bunnies had done. Mankind came together and put resistance fighters together to battle the bunnies. I initiated my final plan by sending out search and capture machines to capture the bunny rabbits. The machines looked like giant bunny rabbits. The machines were able to get in close to the bunnies and capture them before they knew what was going on. Most of the bunnies were captured or defeated within a few hours. There were a few pockets of resistance left but they were defeated by the end of the day. The bunny rabbits were only in power for a little while but they put mankind through hell during that period. The rightful rulers took back over and proclaimed January the tenth as a new holiday. They served Rabbit Stew and Stewed Rabbit that night for supper. The leaders of the rabbits were the rabbits that were used in the stew. I must say the evil rabbits were quite tasty, I had three helpings. Mankind was saved and I went and took a much needed vacation. The End The Turkey Nightmare
by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother I wake up from the nightmare that is real to find turkeys everywhere. Here a turkey, there a turkey, everywhere I look a turkey. I see them everywhere when Im awake and now even in my dreams. They gobble gobble here, they gobble gobble there, and they even gobble gobble in my dreams. I think, great a free meal, and I grab my shotgun but when I go to hunt them they have all vanished. I search for hours in vain because the turkeys are no more. I search here, I search there, but try as I might I find not one single turkey. I put the gun away and as if by magic all the turkeys reappear. Here a turkey, there a turkey, everywhere I look a turkey. I decide to try something different by grabbing my ax and sneaking up on them. They pull their own axes out and chase me away. I escape with my life but alas my stomach remains empty. I watch them from the shadows, waiting for my chance but try as I might I find not even one chance. Finally overcome by hunger and despair I fix myself a ham sandwich. I watch and wait but the pesky turkeys are sly, they are cunning. I can`t sleep because I dream of waking up to find the headless turkey standing over my bed with his ax raised. I can`t eat because I can`t catch one of these turkeys and I fear they may have poisoned the food I have. The turkeys are everywhere. They are here, there, everywhere I look, and even in my nightmares. I have decided I must get away that is the only way that I can escape this nightmare that has become my reality. I will go into the hills as far as I can and maybe I will escape this nightmare that has become my life. I have escaped, I have gotten as far away as I could get. Everywhere I look I see nothing, I have escaped the turkeys. I have escaped the nightmare. I can sleep again, I can eat again, I am gaining my strength back. The nightmare is finally over, I can get on with my life. What was that noise? It sounded like a gobble. The Nightmare Continues by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother I thought the nightmare was over. I thought I had gotten away from them but the turkeys have found me again. First it was just one turkey but over the course of a few days, the one multiplied into 50. In a week there were thousands. I can`t sleep because they have taken over the place and they gobble incessantly . My life has become a living nightmare. The turkeys gobble constantly, they have stunk up the place, they strut all around, and they watch me always. My life has become a nightmare. As I write this I am devising a plan to rid the world of these insidious monsters once and for all. They have turned my life into a living hell. All I can hope for is that they will not discover my plans before I can rid the world these monsters. I am writing this in a hiding place they are not aware of which is good because if they discover this place they may be able to figure out my plans and stop them. This would be disastrous for all mankind because if I do not stop them now then they will take over the world. I hope I can accomplish this before they discover my plans. What was that noise, is there someone or something in here with me? Was that a breath on my neck? I fear the turkeys have discovered my hiding place and may know about my plans. If this is the case then all is lost, mankind is doomed because the turkeys will take over the world. Gobble, gobble The Turkey Conspiracy by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother You may believe I have gone mad, that I have lost my mind, but I am going to prove to you that turkeys are not harmless creatures. I will show you that they are quite clever and very cunning. As I told you earlier the turkeys have taken over everything around here and that includes the TV. I caught a bunch of them in the living room the other day watching one of them alien horror movies. You know the kind of movie Im taking about, the ones where the aliens come to earth pretending to come in peace but in reality they have come to destroy mankind. While Im on the subject of aliens, I have proof that they are real but that isn`t part of The Turkey Conspiracy so I will probable tell you about the aliens some other time. Now to get back to them turkeys, I looked around the living room and saw about 50 of them sitting in the living room watching that alien horror movie. I quietly eased into the room and noticed the turkeys were taking notes from the movie. I eased in behind one of them and saw he was writing notes on how to fool mankind into believing we are peaceful and mean no harm. I was shocked and horrified when I realized the weren`t gobbling but speaking to each other in English. What they were talking about is what really horrified me. The turkeys were talking about taking over the world. I was stunned to hear what one of the turkeys had to say, his name was Fred by the way if it matters to you. "The mind control machines work perfectly, we have been testing them for about six months and we haven`t had one single malfunction. We can begin using them on the humans when the time comes for us to take over the world. The humans believe we are harmless and they also don`t realize we can talk. We can use this to our advantage. We can strike back at these monsters that continue to kill us off at an alarming rate. We must act quickly before they kill any more of us. These humans are savages, they kill our brothers and sister and consume them as if that is perfectly alright. It is time for us to make our stand. When we get ready to take the world over all we have to do is turn the mind control machines on. Remember to continue to gobble while you are around humans, do not I repeat do not let them hear you speak under any circumstance whatsoever or our plans to take the world over will fail." Fred said. My heart was pounding in my chest so fast that I was certain they were going to hear me. I eased out of the living room and made my way back to my hiding place. I got back to work trying to come of with a plan to stop these monsters. I was down in my hiding place when I heard a board creak behind me. I spun around and one of the turkeys was standing there. The turkey grinned then pulled out his ax. "We know what you are up to E. T. Brother and Im going to stop you. You shouldn`t be meddling where you don`t belong." The Turkey said. I leaped to my feet and ran for the door. "It wont do you any good to run E. T. Brother, we have you surrounded and you can`t get away." The turkey said. I ran to the door and yanked it open. I ran out and saw turkeys all around. The turkeys all pulled their axes out and I barely escaped with my life. I wanted this nightmare to be over once and for all. I had been in fear for my life ever since the turkeys began to show up around here. I am on the run from them right now and I can only hope I get away from them before it`s too late. The Turkey Time Repeating Machine by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother I wake up thinking the nightmare is over, only to discover that it is just beginning. I thought I could escape this nightmare that has become my life, if I could run far enough away, but try as I might, everywhere I run I end up right back where I began. Each time I run away, no matter which way I go, when I awake Im right back where I started from. I wake up in the nightmare, surrounded by the vicious gobbling beast that are devising a plan to take the world over. No mater where I run, the turkeys are there when I wake up. The turkeys have taken over my place like they intend to take over the world. The turkeys are smart, they are cleaver, cunning, and deviant. They only show their true colors when they think no one is watching. They gobble when humans are around but when they think they are alone they talk English. The turkeys plot, they deceive, they wait watching us humans, and all the while they work on their mind control machines trying to perfect them. They wait patiently until the day when they can move forward with their plan to take over the world. I run to the west trying to escape these insidious monster only to discover when I awake that Im right back where I began, Im still trapped in the nightmare. The turkeys have me trapped in a time repeating machine, each day is the same as the last. I only hope I can escape this nightmare before it drives me to the brink of madness and then shoves me into the madness void from which there is no escape. I have run to the edge of civilization to escape the turkeys. I have escaped them for the time being. I fear mankind is doomed, I was stuck in the time repeating or time warp machine for too long, the turkeys had too much time to work on their plans to take over the world without any interference from me. I have finally escaped that machine and the turkeys but I may be too late. All may be lost. I am working on a plan to stop them from taking over the world but I fear I may be too late because they are almost ready to set their diabolical plan into motion to take over the world. They plan to rule the world and crush anyone who stands in their way. I am working on my plans as fast as I can but I fear they kept me in their machine just long enough. I may not have time to spoil their plans. If the turkeys plan succeeds I will fight them for as long as I can. I am safe for the time being because I am in an undisclosed location far underground. I am beginning plans to start a resistance movement if the turkeys do succeed in taking over the world. I will do everything in my power to disrupt and hinder them at every turn. I wont give up hope. I plan to crush the turkeys and stop their plans. The Turkey Revolt by E. T. Brother © 2012 by E. T. Brother The turkeys made their final plans to take the world over and began to move forward with them on the day before Thanksgiving. I had built a contraption to wear on my head like a hat to block the mind control machines that the turkeys had built. It was a good thing that I was wearing the contraption and had it turned on, on the day before Thanksgiving because the turkeys turned their mind control machines all over the world in preparation to take over the world. I heard a beeping noise in the lab and I looked over at the computer. The computer was flashing a red warning light. I rushed over from the table where I had been my final plans to stop the turkeys. I punched in my secret code and cameras turned on at the turkey command center. The camera feeds began to show on my computer and I was shocked and alarmed to see millions of turkeys rushing about. I could see most of the turkeys had obviously been shooting up on steroids because the bulging muscles they were sporting were completely unnatural. They were rushing all about the command center in battle dress uniforms and carrying weapons. I quickly punched in commands on the computer keyboard and discovered the turkeys had turned on their mind control machines. I breathed a sigh of relief that I was wearing the mind control blocking contraption on my head and had it turned on. I felt a brief moment of exhilaration and justification for all my action to up to this point. I had heard all the talk of my friends and family, most behind my back but some of it to my face, calling me mad and telling me I had completely lost my mind thinking the turkeys were planning to take over the world. I set these feeling to the side and got to work, I had work to do if I was going to stop these beast from taking the world over. I turned around and flipped a switch up to turn the mind control disruption machine. I had just finished building it about an hour ago. The purpose of the machine was to block the turkeys mind control machine and send out a message to humans all over the world that the turkeys were rising up and they had to be stopped. I watched the machine a moment and saw it was working properly. I turned back to my computer and looked at the feed coming from the turkey command center. I saw the turkeys were not aware their mind control machine were now useless. I smiled and punched in a code on the keyboard. My turkey finding machines, hidden in preparation for this moment, turned on all over the world and began to move out in search of the turkeys. I stood there watching the machines move out on the big screens mounted on the two of the walls of my bunker when an alarm began to blare. I looked down at my computer and punched in a code on the keyboard. The camera views from outside my bunker popped up on the computer screen. There were thousands of turkeys outside of my bunker moving in. I looked around the bunker for a moment then I nodded my head. I had set all my plans into motion to defeat the turkeys diabolical plans. I turned around and rushed over to my stealth flying machine. I climbed in, shut the hatch, and strapped in. I began to flip switch and the engines started up smoothly. I knew if I was going to have any chance at all of defeating the turkeys then I could not allow myself to be captured. I punched in a code on the console keyboard transferring control of everything to the flying machine. I also flipped a switch turning on the backup mind control disruption machine that was built into the flying machine. I didn`t want to take any chances that the turkeys might be able to shut everything down in the bunker. I hit a button on the console and all the screens on the walls went blank. I hit another button and all the vital equipment in the bunker lowered under the floor and the floor slid into place over it. I pushed another button on the console and the roof of the bunker began to slide open above me. I made sure the engines were aimed downward so I could take off straight up. I moved the throttle controls forward and the engines spooled up to full strength. When the engines were at full power and I was satisfied that everything was fine on the control panel, I grabbed the control yoke and pulled it back. The flying machine lurched up a few feet then lurched to the right. The flying machine bounced of the wall sending sparks everywhere. I jerked the yoke to the left and the flying machine lurched to the left. It bounced of the wall sending sparks flying. I pushed the yoke forward and the flying machine lurched forward. The flying machine slammed into the wall and bounced off sending sparks flying. I pulled the yoke back to the center and took my hands off of it for a moment. You might be wondering if I know how to fly or if I had taken lessons. My answer to that is, no I have not taken flying lessons, but I have seen it done on TV and in the movies thousands of times before, and it seemed simple enough. Plus I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last week and you can do anything if you stay there, I`ve seen the commercial on TV so it must be true, besides I had not had time to take lessons because I was making plans to defeat the turkeys. The doors of the bunker blew open with a bang and turkeys began to charge through the door. They rushed toward my flying machine waving their weapons around and gobbling. I ignored them and grabbed the yoke. I pushed it forward and the flying machine lurched forward. The machine crushed about thirty of the turkeys into the wall. I pulled the yoke to the left and the flying machine lurched left. I took about another thirty turkeys. I pulled the yoke back gently and the flying machine began to rise out of the bunker smoothly. I heard a thump and looked down into the bunker. A rocket was streaking toward the flying machine. I flipped a switch and the engines rotated level. I hit the afterburners and the flying machine took off into the air. The rocket slammed into the roof of the bunker and exploded. The flying machine shook a moment then it smoothed out. I flew back toward the bunker and saw it was burning fiercely. I heard a few secondary explosions from the bunker. Satisfied the turkeys in the bunker were dead or dying I began to fly toward the turkey command center. I kept an eye on everything that was going on around the world from the cockpit. I was satisfied to see that my turkey finding machines were working properly and rounding up the turkeys by the millions. I was also pleased to see that resistance fighters had formed all around the world. They were battling and defeating the rogue turkeys. I flew to the turkey command center and landed nearby. I shut the flying machine off but I stayed in the cockpit to keep an eye on all the operations going on all over the world. I saw that most of the turkeys had been defeated or captured and there were only small pockets of fighting still going on. I was confident the remaining turkeys would either be defeated or captured soon. I punched in a code on the console and machines began to rise out of the ground all around the flying machine. I had planted them in the ground all around the turkey command center during the night. The turkeys thought the location of their command center was a secret but I had planted a double agent into their midst and he had discovered the location for me. The machines all around the turkey command center began to move toward it. The machines broke through the perimeter within the hour. The turkeys surrendered within minutes and they were rounded up. The operation going on all around the world were finally wrapped up a few hours latter. The turkeys were taken to holding areas. The leaders were tried, convicted, and put to death on Thanksgiving. They were served to families all over the US as Thanksgiving meals. The turkeys plans were foiled and mankind was saved. They all breathed a sigh of relief. The world was not yet aware of the horrors that awaited them on Christmas Eve. The End |