The Evil Elves
by E. T. Brother
© 2012 by E. T. Brother
The story Im about to tell you began two days after I defeated the kitty cats. I was down in the Bahamas trying to finish my vacation since the kitty cats had interrupted my last one. I was sitting in a lounge chair down at the beach having sex on the beach. Get your mind out of the gutter Im referring to the drink. Yes Im aware I left out the a, as in, I was having a sex on the beach, but it sounded more interesting the way I said it and I wanted your undivided attention. Now that I have your attention I will get on with the story.
I was sitting back in the lounge chair drinking my sex on the beach watching the waves lap up on the beach, when the alarm went off on my computer. I cursed under my breath, sat up, put my drink down, and grabbed the computer. I punched a code into the keyboard and the picture that popped up was of the North Pole.
What I saw shocked me and my mouth dropped open. Santa`s workshop was in shambles. Some of the elves had taken over the workshop and locked Santa, Mrs. Clause, the rest of the elves, and the reindeer up. I shook my head and slapped my forehead.
"Dang it, these must be the elves that the bunny rabbits brainwashed when the rabbits tried to take over the world. I forgot all about the elves." I said to the empty beach. Of course I didn`t get a reply, which was a good thing.
I went through the rest of the cameras and saw the elves were not alone, they were being helped by penguins. I kept going through the cameras and I found a roomful of elves sitting around talking. I turned the volume up and began to listen.
"We are not only going to take over the North Pole but we are going to bring the world to its knees. I sent a bunch of penguins to capture Father Time and The Sandman. With those two in our custody we can stop time and put everyone to sleep, permanently. After we do that no one will be able to stand in our way." One of the elves said.
"What about that troublesome guy named E. T. Brother?" One of the elves ask.
"I have plans to take care..." The first elf said.
"Hey, be quiet, I think the room is bugged. Look at that fly on the wall, it looks like it has a microphone where the head should be." An elf said.
At this point one of the elves rolled up a newspaper and hit the fly. My microphone went dead. I cursed under my breath and continued to watch the elves. I could still see them but I could no longer hear what they were saying.
A second later, an elf face popped up in front of my camera filling the entire computer screen. The elf smiled and begin to mouth words.
"E. T. we are going to get you. You can`t stop us." The elf mouthed then it pulled the camera loose and dropped it to the floor. The elf stepped on the camera and my computer went to static.
I cursed for a few moments then I turned the computer off. I shut the laptop and got up. I began to run toward my room leaving my sex on the beach behind. I stopped running, turned around, and ran back to the chair. I picked up the sex on the beach, finished it, and put the glass down. It was to good to waste.
I turned and ran to my room. I packed everything in my suitcase, grabbed the suitcase, and ran to my rental car.
When I got to the car, I opened the door, threw my suitcase in, and got in the car. I put my laptop in the passenger seat, started the car, shut the door, and drove to the other side of the island. When I got to the other side of the island, I chartered a plane and flew back to Virginia.
When I got to Virginia, I drove to my hidden bunker. I knew I was going to have to go to the North Pole to stop the elves and penguins. The elves had discovered all the cameras and microphones so I didn`t know much about their plans, I had to prepare for anything.
I gathered up everything I thought I would need and packed it into the flying machine. I got my cold weather gear and put it in the front so it would be in easy reach.
When I was ready, I climbed into the flying machine, shut the hatch, and strapped in. I turned the flying machine on then I turned the robot on. I punched a code into the console and the roof of the bunker begin to slide open.
After the roof opened fully, the robot pulled back on the yoke and the flying machine begin to rise up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker, the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole.
As we got close to the North Pole alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I began to punch codes into the console and numerous blips popped up on the screen. I looked around and saw hundreds of sleighs lifting off and coming after us. The sleighs were being flown by elves and pulled by reindeer.
The elves had a look of gleeful insanity on their faces. The reindeer looked like they were possessed, their eyes glowed red, smoke and flames poured from their nostrils as they pulled the sleighs. The sleighs had rocket launchers attached to to their sides.
I had not had time to install anything on the flying machine to stop or fool the rockets. I knew I was in trouble but I didn`t know how much trouble I was in, I would find that out soon enough though.
The elves fired their rockets, the robot began to fly in a zig zag pattern and it pushed the yoke down. The flying machine dove down toward the ground. One of the missiles exploded behind the flying machine and the debris struck the back of the flying machine. Some of the debris flew up into the engines. The engines shredded and ripped themselves apart.
Flames and smoke began to pour out of the engines and the flying machine was no longer flying. The flying machine was still about a thousand feet off the ground, it plummeted to the ground and it crash landed. I was knocked unconscious in the crash.
I came to later, I don`t know how much later but it couldn`t have been much later. I looked around and saw the flying machine was on fire. I was in immense pain. I unbuckled, climbed out of the seat, and crawled toward the back.
I knew I had to get out of the flying machine but I also knew I had to get my cold weather gear because I wouldn`t survive long in the frigid conditions.
I got to the cold weather gear, began to pull it out, and passed out from the pain.
I came to sometime later and realized I was no longer in the flying machine. I was outside the flying machine lying on my back. It was snowing and the snow was landing on my face. I raised my right hand and wiped the snow off my face. I forced my head up and looked around. The flying machine was a little ways away and it was no longer burning. A big figure was climbing out of the flying machine. I laid my head down and passed out.
I came to sometime later and felt myself bouncing. I opened my eyes and looked around. I realized I was being carried on someones shoulder so that was why I was bouncing around. I was in intense pain, it was shooting all through me. I closed my eyes and passed out.
I came to later, opened my eyes, and looked around. I was in a cave. I realized I was lying on my back on something soft. I began to sit up.
"You shouldn`t get up. You are hurt and pretty weak." A voice said.
I looked around the cave and saw a shadow coming out of the shadows. I began to get lightheaded, fell back, closed my eyes, and passed out.
I came to a little later to someone lightly slapping my face. I opened my eyes, looked at the figure slapping me, and screamed.
That can`t be real. I must be imagining it. The abominable snowman doesn`t exist, it is a myth, I must be hallucinating. I thought.
I passed out from the pain and probable from the fright as well.
Later I came to and looked around.
"You need to eat if you want to get your strength back." A voice said.
I looked around the cave and saw a figure standing in the shadows. I began to sit up.
"That isn`t a good idea. You are too weak to get up. You need to eat so you can get your strength back." The voice said.
"Who are you?" I ask.
"It doesn`t matter who I am. Eat the soup, it is in the bowl on the table next to the bed." The voice said.
I thought about ignoring the figure in the shadows, whoever he was, and just getting up anyway but my stomach began to growl. I picked up the bowl and ate most of the soup. I was sitting up and leaning on my elbows. I began to get shaky. I fell back on the pillow and passed out.
I came to later and was feeling much better. I sat up and threw the covers off. I stood up and got very lightheaded. I grabbed the bed and held on until the feeling passed. I heard a noise in the cave, jerked my head around, and looked around the cave. Moving my head fast caused me to get lightheaded so I closed my eyes for a moment.
I heard the noise again and opened my eyes. A figure walked out of the shadows toward me and I screamed. I closed my eyes for a moment then opened them again. The figure was still coming toward me. The figure looked manlike but it was covered from head to toe in fur and it was very tall, nine feet tall at least. I shook my head trying to clear it then I looked and the figure was still there.
"You aren`t real, you don`t exist." I said.
The abominable snowman threw its head back and laughed. After a moment he looked back at me.
"Im real alright, Im as real as you." The abominable snowman said.
I let go of the bed, took a step, and got very lightheaded. I grabbed for the bed and leaned against it. The abominable snowman walked over to me, picked me up, I screamed, he put me back in the bed, and covered me up.
"You aren`t strong enough to get out of bed yet. You need to rest and get your strength back." The abominable snowman said.
"I have to stop the elves and penguins." I said.
"You couldn`t stop a flee in the condition you`re in. You suffered a bad head injury in the crash. You`re lucky to be alive. There is nothing you can do to stop the elves and penguins anyway. They stopped time and put everyone to sleep, maybe a permanent sleep. You are fortunate to be here or they would have put you to sleep as well." The snowman said.
I began to sit up and the snowman put his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back.
"I have to do something, I can`t just stay here." I said.
"You can and will stay here for now so you can build your strength back up. When you able to leave I will help you any way I can." The snowman said.
"I have to do something, the fate of the world is depending on me." I said.
"You are doing something, you`re building your strength up, for now that`s enough. Now take a nap, when you wake up I will fix you some soup." The snowman said.
I laid back and fell asleep.
When I came to later, the snowman was standing beside my bed holding a bowl of soup. I had to choke back a scream then I remembered where I was.
"Eat this it will help you build up your strength, maybe in a few weeks you will be strong enough to defeat the elves and penguins." The abominable snowman said.
"That isn`t fast enough, I have to do something sooner." I said.
"It will have to be soon enough, you can`t do anything sooner. You wouldn`t make it ten steps now without falling down and passing out. You are no help to anyone right now, you have to get your strength back and that is going to take time." The snowman said.
I sat up and the snowman handed me the bowl of soup.
"Eat the soup and stop arguing with me. You can`t make it anywhere on your own and I will not allow you to leave. It is for your own good." The snowman said.
I knew the snowman was right but I couldn`t stand just doing nothing. I began to eat and the snowman sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"What is your name human?" The snowman ask.
"My name is E. T. Brother. What is your name, or do you have one?" I said.
"Yes I have a name. My name is Ted, Im a Yeti, now we have finally been introduced. I think it will take you a few weeks to get your strength back, as long as you continue to improve as you have been doing and you don`t do anything foolish." Ted said.
"That isn`t fast enough. The elves and penguins have free reign and they may destroy the world. They have already thrown the world into chaos." I said.
"It will have to be fast enough because you`re in no condition to go anywhere right now. I will tie you down if I have to but you aren`t leaving. Im doing this for your own good, you wouldn`t do anyone any good leaving now. One elf could defeat you right now, with one of his or her arms tied behind their back. There would only be two hits, they would hit you and you would hit the floor. It would be lights out for you E. T. and you know it so stop arguing with me. Get some rest, tomorrow you can try to walk around the cave some." Ted said.
I put the bowl on the table and laid back down. I began to drift off toward sleep. As I drifted toward sleep I thought, if only I could go back in time I could stop the elves and penguins before they ever got started with their plans.
Sometime later I snapped awake and sat bolt upright. I got lightheaded and had to lean over on the bed until the feeling passed. After the feeling passed I sat slowly up.
"I can go back in time. The turkey time repeating machine has a setting for you to travel back in time. I have their machine in my bunker. I can go back in time and defeat the elves and penguins before they ever get started. I can stop them before they ever get their plans off the ground." I said out loud.
"You have a time machine?" Ted ask from the shadows.
"Yes the turkeys trapped me in a time repeating machine for awhile but I escaped. After we defeated the turkeys I examined the machine and found it was also a time traveling machine. You can set the time to whatever time you want and travel back in time. I have that machine back in my bunker. Before I fell asleep I was thinking I could stop the elves and penguins before they even got started if I could travel back in time. I can travel back in time and I am going to do it. I will stop the elves and penguins before they get their plans off the ground." I said.
"That`s fine, now go back to sleep." Ted said.
"Don`t you see the possibilities?" I ask.
"Yes I see the possibilities, now travel back in time to five minutes ago and do what you were doing then. You need your rest before you can do any time traveling." Ted said.
I laid back down and went back to sleep.
Over the next few weeks I built my strength up. Each day I walked further until I was finally ready to leave the cave. I wasn`t a hundred percent but I was doing much better.
The day I was ready to leave was a bitter sweet one, Ted and myself had become close friends while he was nursing me back to health.
Ted took me outside and showed me the tracked snow vehicle he had gotten me. I looked in and saw Ted had packed me supplies into the vehicle. I turned around and faced Ted.
"Thank you for all you`ve done Ted, I don`t know how to repay you." I said.
"Defeat the elves and penguins, set thing right, that will be payment enough." Ted said.
We shook hands and I climbed into the vehicle. I have never been any good at goodbyes, I never know what to say. I shut the door, started the vehicle, and waved at Ted. Ted waved back and I began my trip.
I traveled back to civilization but civilization as I had known it no longer existed. Everything was in shambles, there was no one around. I drove the tracked vehicle until it was no longer practical to use.
I found a parking lot full of cars and pulled in. I searched around and found the keys in a Hummer. I swapped all my supplies into the Hummer and I got in. I shut the door, started it, and began to make my way toward the bunker.
When I made it back to the bunker in Virginia, I walked in and walked over to the time repeating machine. I flipped the switch to time travel, turned the machine on, and set the time back to the day I had defeated the kitty cats. I set the time to when I had made it back to my bunker that day then I stepped into the machine.
The door shut, the machine begin to hum, there was a blinding white light and I traveled back in time. The machine shut down and the door opened. I stepped out of the machine and walked over to my workstation. I punched a code into the computer and I saw that I had in fact traveled back in time to the day I had defeated the kitty cats.
I smiled for a moment then I began to make preparations to defeat the elves and penguins. I was going to stop the elves and penguins before they even got started with their evil plans.
The next day I was finally ready for the evil elves and their accomplishes. I punched codes into the console and the machines that had captured the kitty cats took off and began to fly toward the North Pole. I made a few last minute preparations and then I ran over to the flying machine.
I climbed in, shut the hatch, strapped in, and turned the flying machine on. I turned the robot on and punched codes into the console. The roof of the bunker began to slide open.
I looked around the cockpit to make sure I had everything I needed. I had loaded the flying machine earlier and I was just making sure I had not forgotten anything. I saw that I had everything. I flipped a few switches and made sure all the countermeasures that I had installed on the flying machine worked. I saw they were working fine. I didn`t want to get shot down again. I was ready for the evil elves if they tried to shoot me out of the sky again.
The roof finished opening up and the robot pulled back on the control yoke. The flying machine rose up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole. I had traveled back in time and now I was traveling back to the North Pole to defeat the evil elves and the penguins once and for all.
I punched in a code on the console and the flying machine disappeared as the cloaking device engaged. The robot flew us to the North Pole and we didn`t have any problems this time.
When we got to the North Pole, the robot landed near Santa`s workshop. I checked the computer and saw all the search and capture machine were in place. I punched in a code on the console and the cameras and microphones came on in Santa`s workshop.
The pictures popped up on my computer and I sat back and waited for the elves and penguins to make their move, I was ready for them.
When the elves and penguins made their move, I launched the search and capture machines and they rounded up the penguins in short order. It was pretty funny watching the penguins as they tried to escape. They were flapping their wings as they tried to escape but since they can`t fly they weren`t going anywhere.
After the penguins were captured, I sprung my secret plan on the elves. I turned on the mind control reverse machines and the machines unscrambled the elves brains. The machine began to broadcast what the evil elves and penguins had been up to. The elves stopped in their tracks as their brains returned to normal and they were easily captured. The elves and penguins plans fell apart and they were all captured in quick order.
When it was finally over, I went and visited Santa. I told Santa all that had happened, he sat there listening intently. I expected Santa to laugh at me again, when I was through telling him the story, but he didn`t. Santa sat there for a moment then he got up and walked around his desk. He held his hand out and we shook hands.
"Thank you E. T. I have seen all that has happened recently with the turkeys, the rabbits, the cats, and now the elves and penguins so I don`t doubt you anymore. Thank you for all you have done E. T. Brother, the world owes you a debt of gratitude for stopping these plots. Im sorry I ever doubted you, can you forgive me?" Santa said.
I could and did forgive Santa and I convinced him to go easy on the elves because they had been brainwashed. Santa assured me that he would go easy on the elves. He was going to make sure they were back to normal and then the elves were going to be put back in their old jobs.
Santa told me the penguins, on the other hand, would be dealt with harshly because they knew what they were doing. The leaders were going to be put to death and the followers were going to be retrained.
When the penguins were retained they would be released.
I left the North Pole and made my way back home. I was still extremely weak from the crash so I hoped everything would remain quiet for a long time.
When I got home I began to rest up trying to recover form everything. I was worn out so I settled down for what I hoped would be a long, long rest.
The End
by E. T. Brother
© 2012 by E. T. Brother
The story Im about to tell you began two days after I defeated the kitty cats. I was down in the Bahamas trying to finish my vacation since the kitty cats had interrupted my last one. I was sitting in a lounge chair down at the beach having sex on the beach. Get your mind out of the gutter Im referring to the drink. Yes Im aware I left out the a, as in, I was having a sex on the beach, but it sounded more interesting the way I said it and I wanted your undivided attention. Now that I have your attention I will get on with the story.
I was sitting back in the lounge chair drinking my sex on the beach watching the waves lap up on the beach, when the alarm went off on my computer. I cursed under my breath, sat up, put my drink down, and grabbed the computer. I punched a code into the keyboard and the picture that popped up was of the North Pole.
What I saw shocked me and my mouth dropped open. Santa`s workshop was in shambles. Some of the elves had taken over the workshop and locked Santa, Mrs. Clause, the rest of the elves, and the reindeer up. I shook my head and slapped my forehead.
"Dang it, these must be the elves that the bunny rabbits brainwashed when the rabbits tried to take over the world. I forgot all about the elves." I said to the empty beach. Of course I didn`t get a reply, which was a good thing.
I went through the rest of the cameras and saw the elves were not alone, they were being helped by penguins. I kept going through the cameras and I found a roomful of elves sitting around talking. I turned the volume up and began to listen.
"We are not only going to take over the North Pole but we are going to bring the world to its knees. I sent a bunch of penguins to capture Father Time and The Sandman. With those two in our custody we can stop time and put everyone to sleep, permanently. After we do that no one will be able to stand in our way." One of the elves said.
"What about that troublesome guy named E. T. Brother?" One of the elves ask.
"I have plans to take care..." The first elf said.
"Hey, be quiet, I think the room is bugged. Look at that fly on the wall, it looks like it has a microphone where the head should be." An elf said.
At this point one of the elves rolled up a newspaper and hit the fly. My microphone went dead. I cursed under my breath and continued to watch the elves. I could still see them but I could no longer hear what they were saying.
A second later, an elf face popped up in front of my camera filling the entire computer screen. The elf smiled and begin to mouth words.
"E. T. we are going to get you. You can`t stop us." The elf mouthed then it pulled the camera loose and dropped it to the floor. The elf stepped on the camera and my computer went to static.
I cursed for a few moments then I turned the computer off. I shut the laptop and got up. I began to run toward my room leaving my sex on the beach behind. I stopped running, turned around, and ran back to the chair. I picked up the sex on the beach, finished it, and put the glass down. It was to good to waste.
I turned and ran to my room. I packed everything in my suitcase, grabbed the suitcase, and ran to my rental car.
When I got to the car, I opened the door, threw my suitcase in, and got in the car. I put my laptop in the passenger seat, started the car, shut the door, and drove to the other side of the island. When I got to the other side of the island, I chartered a plane and flew back to Virginia.
When I got to Virginia, I drove to my hidden bunker. I knew I was going to have to go to the North Pole to stop the elves and penguins. The elves had discovered all the cameras and microphones so I didn`t know much about their plans, I had to prepare for anything.
I gathered up everything I thought I would need and packed it into the flying machine. I got my cold weather gear and put it in the front so it would be in easy reach.
When I was ready, I climbed into the flying machine, shut the hatch, and strapped in. I turned the flying machine on then I turned the robot on. I punched a code into the console and the roof of the bunker begin to slide open.
After the roof opened fully, the robot pulled back on the yoke and the flying machine begin to rise up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker, the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole.
As we got close to the North Pole alarms began to go off in the cockpit. I began to punch codes into the console and numerous blips popped up on the screen. I looked around and saw hundreds of sleighs lifting off and coming after us. The sleighs were being flown by elves and pulled by reindeer.
The elves had a look of gleeful insanity on their faces. The reindeer looked like they were possessed, their eyes glowed red, smoke and flames poured from their nostrils as they pulled the sleighs. The sleighs had rocket launchers attached to to their sides.
I had not had time to install anything on the flying machine to stop or fool the rockets. I knew I was in trouble but I didn`t know how much trouble I was in, I would find that out soon enough though.
The elves fired their rockets, the robot began to fly in a zig zag pattern and it pushed the yoke down. The flying machine dove down toward the ground. One of the missiles exploded behind the flying machine and the debris struck the back of the flying machine. Some of the debris flew up into the engines. The engines shredded and ripped themselves apart.
Flames and smoke began to pour out of the engines and the flying machine was no longer flying. The flying machine was still about a thousand feet off the ground, it plummeted to the ground and it crash landed. I was knocked unconscious in the crash.
I came to later, I don`t know how much later but it couldn`t have been much later. I looked around and saw the flying machine was on fire. I was in immense pain. I unbuckled, climbed out of the seat, and crawled toward the back.
I knew I had to get out of the flying machine but I also knew I had to get my cold weather gear because I wouldn`t survive long in the frigid conditions.
I got to the cold weather gear, began to pull it out, and passed out from the pain.
I came to sometime later and realized I was no longer in the flying machine. I was outside the flying machine lying on my back. It was snowing and the snow was landing on my face. I raised my right hand and wiped the snow off my face. I forced my head up and looked around. The flying machine was a little ways away and it was no longer burning. A big figure was climbing out of the flying machine. I laid my head down and passed out.
I came to sometime later and felt myself bouncing. I opened my eyes and looked around. I realized I was being carried on someones shoulder so that was why I was bouncing around. I was in intense pain, it was shooting all through me. I closed my eyes and passed out.
I came to later, opened my eyes, and looked around. I was in a cave. I realized I was lying on my back on something soft. I began to sit up.
"You shouldn`t get up. You are hurt and pretty weak." A voice said.
I looked around the cave and saw a shadow coming out of the shadows. I began to get lightheaded, fell back, closed my eyes, and passed out.
I came to a little later to someone lightly slapping my face. I opened my eyes, looked at the figure slapping me, and screamed.
That can`t be real. I must be imagining it. The abominable snowman doesn`t exist, it is a myth, I must be hallucinating. I thought.
I passed out from the pain and probable from the fright as well.
Later I came to and looked around.
"You need to eat if you want to get your strength back." A voice said.
I looked around the cave and saw a figure standing in the shadows. I began to sit up.
"That isn`t a good idea. You are too weak to get up. You need to eat so you can get your strength back." The voice said.
"Who are you?" I ask.
"It doesn`t matter who I am. Eat the soup, it is in the bowl on the table next to the bed." The voice said.
I thought about ignoring the figure in the shadows, whoever he was, and just getting up anyway but my stomach began to growl. I picked up the bowl and ate most of the soup. I was sitting up and leaning on my elbows. I began to get shaky. I fell back on the pillow and passed out.
I came to later and was feeling much better. I sat up and threw the covers off. I stood up and got very lightheaded. I grabbed the bed and held on until the feeling passed. I heard a noise in the cave, jerked my head around, and looked around the cave. Moving my head fast caused me to get lightheaded so I closed my eyes for a moment.
I heard the noise again and opened my eyes. A figure walked out of the shadows toward me and I screamed. I closed my eyes for a moment then opened them again. The figure was still coming toward me. The figure looked manlike but it was covered from head to toe in fur and it was very tall, nine feet tall at least. I shook my head trying to clear it then I looked and the figure was still there.
"You aren`t real, you don`t exist." I said.
The abominable snowman threw its head back and laughed. After a moment he looked back at me.
"Im real alright, Im as real as you." The abominable snowman said.
I let go of the bed, took a step, and got very lightheaded. I grabbed for the bed and leaned against it. The abominable snowman walked over to me, picked me up, I screamed, he put me back in the bed, and covered me up.
"You aren`t strong enough to get out of bed yet. You need to rest and get your strength back." The abominable snowman said.
"I have to stop the elves and penguins." I said.
"You couldn`t stop a flee in the condition you`re in. You suffered a bad head injury in the crash. You`re lucky to be alive. There is nothing you can do to stop the elves and penguins anyway. They stopped time and put everyone to sleep, maybe a permanent sleep. You are fortunate to be here or they would have put you to sleep as well." The snowman said.
I began to sit up and the snowman put his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back.
"I have to do something, I can`t just stay here." I said.
"You can and will stay here for now so you can build your strength back up. When you able to leave I will help you any way I can." The snowman said.
"I have to do something, the fate of the world is depending on me." I said.
"You are doing something, you`re building your strength up, for now that`s enough. Now take a nap, when you wake up I will fix you some soup." The snowman said.
I laid back and fell asleep.
When I came to later, the snowman was standing beside my bed holding a bowl of soup. I had to choke back a scream then I remembered where I was.
"Eat this it will help you build up your strength, maybe in a few weeks you will be strong enough to defeat the elves and penguins." The abominable snowman said.
"That isn`t fast enough, I have to do something sooner." I said.
"It will have to be soon enough, you can`t do anything sooner. You wouldn`t make it ten steps now without falling down and passing out. You are no help to anyone right now, you have to get your strength back and that is going to take time." The snowman said.
I sat up and the snowman handed me the bowl of soup.
"Eat the soup and stop arguing with me. You can`t make it anywhere on your own and I will not allow you to leave. It is for your own good." The snowman said.
I knew the snowman was right but I couldn`t stand just doing nothing. I began to eat and the snowman sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"What is your name human?" The snowman ask.
"My name is E. T. Brother. What is your name, or do you have one?" I said.
"Yes I have a name. My name is Ted, Im a Yeti, now we have finally been introduced. I think it will take you a few weeks to get your strength back, as long as you continue to improve as you have been doing and you don`t do anything foolish." Ted said.
"That isn`t fast enough. The elves and penguins have free reign and they may destroy the world. They have already thrown the world into chaos." I said.
"It will have to be fast enough because you`re in no condition to go anywhere right now. I will tie you down if I have to but you aren`t leaving. Im doing this for your own good, you wouldn`t do anyone any good leaving now. One elf could defeat you right now, with one of his or her arms tied behind their back. There would only be two hits, they would hit you and you would hit the floor. It would be lights out for you E. T. and you know it so stop arguing with me. Get some rest, tomorrow you can try to walk around the cave some." Ted said.
I put the bowl on the table and laid back down. I began to drift off toward sleep. As I drifted toward sleep I thought, if only I could go back in time I could stop the elves and penguins before they ever got started with their plans.
Sometime later I snapped awake and sat bolt upright. I got lightheaded and had to lean over on the bed until the feeling passed. After the feeling passed I sat slowly up.
"I can go back in time. The turkey time repeating machine has a setting for you to travel back in time. I have their machine in my bunker. I can go back in time and defeat the elves and penguins before they ever get started. I can stop them before they ever get their plans off the ground." I said out loud.
"You have a time machine?" Ted ask from the shadows.
"Yes the turkeys trapped me in a time repeating machine for awhile but I escaped. After we defeated the turkeys I examined the machine and found it was also a time traveling machine. You can set the time to whatever time you want and travel back in time. I have that machine back in my bunker. Before I fell asleep I was thinking I could stop the elves and penguins before they even got started if I could travel back in time. I can travel back in time and I am going to do it. I will stop the elves and penguins before they get their plans off the ground." I said.
"That`s fine, now go back to sleep." Ted said.
"Don`t you see the possibilities?" I ask.
"Yes I see the possibilities, now travel back in time to five minutes ago and do what you were doing then. You need your rest before you can do any time traveling." Ted said.
I laid back down and went back to sleep.
Over the next few weeks I built my strength up. Each day I walked further until I was finally ready to leave the cave. I wasn`t a hundred percent but I was doing much better.
The day I was ready to leave was a bitter sweet one, Ted and myself had become close friends while he was nursing me back to health.
Ted took me outside and showed me the tracked snow vehicle he had gotten me. I looked in and saw Ted had packed me supplies into the vehicle. I turned around and faced Ted.
"Thank you for all you`ve done Ted, I don`t know how to repay you." I said.
"Defeat the elves and penguins, set thing right, that will be payment enough." Ted said.
We shook hands and I climbed into the vehicle. I have never been any good at goodbyes, I never know what to say. I shut the door, started the vehicle, and waved at Ted. Ted waved back and I began my trip.
I traveled back to civilization but civilization as I had known it no longer existed. Everything was in shambles, there was no one around. I drove the tracked vehicle until it was no longer practical to use.
I found a parking lot full of cars and pulled in. I searched around and found the keys in a Hummer. I swapped all my supplies into the Hummer and I got in. I shut the door, started it, and began to make my way toward the bunker.
When I made it back to the bunker in Virginia, I walked in and walked over to the time repeating machine. I flipped the switch to time travel, turned the machine on, and set the time back to the day I had defeated the kitty cats. I set the time to when I had made it back to my bunker that day then I stepped into the machine.
The door shut, the machine begin to hum, there was a blinding white light and I traveled back in time. The machine shut down and the door opened. I stepped out of the machine and walked over to my workstation. I punched a code into the computer and I saw that I had in fact traveled back in time to the day I had defeated the kitty cats.
I smiled for a moment then I began to make preparations to defeat the elves and penguins. I was going to stop the elves and penguins before they even got started with their evil plans.
The next day I was finally ready for the evil elves and their accomplishes. I punched codes into the console and the machines that had captured the kitty cats took off and began to fly toward the North Pole. I made a few last minute preparations and then I ran over to the flying machine.
I climbed in, shut the hatch, strapped in, and turned the flying machine on. I turned the robot on and punched codes into the console. The roof of the bunker began to slide open.
I looked around the cockpit to make sure I had everything I needed. I had loaded the flying machine earlier and I was just making sure I had not forgotten anything. I saw that I had everything. I flipped a few switches and made sure all the countermeasures that I had installed on the flying machine worked. I saw they were working fine. I didn`t want to get shot down again. I was ready for the evil elves if they tried to shoot me out of the sky again.
The roof finished opening up and the robot pulled back on the control yoke. The flying machine rose up out of the bunker. As soon as the flying machine cleared the bunker the robot began to fly us toward the North Pole. I had traveled back in time and now I was traveling back to the North Pole to defeat the evil elves and the penguins once and for all.
I punched in a code on the console and the flying machine disappeared as the cloaking device engaged. The robot flew us to the North Pole and we didn`t have any problems this time.
When we got to the North Pole, the robot landed near Santa`s workshop. I checked the computer and saw all the search and capture machine were in place. I punched in a code on the console and the cameras and microphones came on in Santa`s workshop.
The pictures popped up on my computer and I sat back and waited for the elves and penguins to make their move, I was ready for them.
When the elves and penguins made their move, I launched the search and capture machines and they rounded up the penguins in short order. It was pretty funny watching the penguins as they tried to escape. They were flapping their wings as they tried to escape but since they can`t fly they weren`t going anywhere.
After the penguins were captured, I sprung my secret plan on the elves. I turned on the mind control reverse machines and the machines unscrambled the elves brains. The machine began to broadcast what the evil elves and penguins had been up to. The elves stopped in their tracks as their brains returned to normal and they were easily captured. The elves and penguins plans fell apart and they were all captured in quick order.
When it was finally over, I went and visited Santa. I told Santa all that had happened, he sat there listening intently. I expected Santa to laugh at me again, when I was through telling him the story, but he didn`t. Santa sat there for a moment then he got up and walked around his desk. He held his hand out and we shook hands.
"Thank you E. T. I have seen all that has happened recently with the turkeys, the rabbits, the cats, and now the elves and penguins so I don`t doubt you anymore. Thank you for all you have done E. T. Brother, the world owes you a debt of gratitude for stopping these plots. Im sorry I ever doubted you, can you forgive me?" Santa said.
I could and did forgive Santa and I convinced him to go easy on the elves because they had been brainwashed. Santa assured me that he would go easy on the elves. He was going to make sure they were back to normal and then the elves were going to be put back in their old jobs.
Santa told me the penguins, on the other hand, would be dealt with harshly because they knew what they were doing. The leaders were going to be put to death and the followers were going to be retrained.
When the penguins were retained they would be released.
I left the North Pole and made my way back home. I was still extremely weak from the crash so I hoped everything would remain quiet for a long time.
When I got home I began to rest up trying to recover form everything. I was worn out so I settled down for what I hoped would be a long, long rest.
The End